Tired of the endless downwards spiral
It has to be said, that I am sick of all of this and sick of this endless downward spiral. People keep reading "oh things are turning up again!" in the news, but things are simply not.
I do not want to be that negative person, you know, the person who is simply and only negative, so I took a pause from all of this and tried my best to find the positive points in life and positive things around me. I found very few. I did try, and i´m feeling a bit more cheerful, and ready to face the life again. I´m sure that will change at some point.
Ever since all of this tumbled, that is in October 2008, my life has only taken a turn for the worse, and there has not been anything I could have done to change that. I did try my best with this website and i´m not giving up .. I refuse to give up. Even though many days I wake up and I open the website and I think okay, this day will be good, you will do fine, and people will appreciate this and donate, and you will start smiling again in the end of the day. Then I start but I fill up with frustration as I keep reading negative stories and negative news all the time, and nothing positive comes out of it for me.
This website was supposed to be my lifeline but it has nearly failed. I would like to use this opportunity to thank you out there who have been supporting me, and let me tell you this .. I would not have made it to this point if it wasnt for you.
I decided the other day that I am going to change my life, I can not continue to swim against the current so i´m just taking a slight turn and taking the current on to the side.
I decided to enlist for school again, since I was forced to drop out at one point. This is not much, not a full time school, and I havent even paid for it yet. I decided to register for a few classes, and made a promise I would do whatever I can do pay for the tuition as soon as possible. We´ll see how that goes. I am going to continue to have faith in myself and this website, construct a new daily pattern for myself, study and work on this website, try to get a full nights sleep and try to do my best.
Right? This is positive? Yes I believe it is, I hope you agree.
I do still hope that all of you are doing well, I hope the holidays were good, and I hope you have your health, your home, and your family.
I am now going to read a bit, try to translate there after and then work on this website again .. I hope this year brings me positivity .. I hope this year brings YOU positivity as well.
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